Everything That You Need To Know About Clown Drinking

1.    Beer Carbonation - It's a basic food group much like chocolate, crayons & Elmer's glue.

2.    It is possible to make clown juice that doesn't have carbonation but it better have an umbrella or Hickey will get pissed. Tequila and vodka are two good examples of non-carbonated health drinks.

3.    Umbrellas are good for both drinks and funeral parades. They just need to be properly sized which means anywhere from a foot to six feet wide. The one foot umbrellas are typically used for drinks but can also be used for dancing and fencing.

4.    Plan to bring lots of cash for the bars and the strippers. We won't have time to wait for credit card tabs, food stamps and/or Sugar's Dollars to be cleared.